What are you "hearing?"
Either you aren't listening carefully, or the one you are conversing with just isn't making sense. So I thought about this and decided that a list wll do best!
What is affecting your understanding?
Okay, I understand that when someone is explainging something, you are trying to find comparisons on the topic and create explanations. Instead, just tune in and tune your thoughts out. Once everything is said, then you can allow yourself to articulate all that just flowed into your brain. By then, any parts you could of been struggling to find deeper meaning to or the questions that your trying to figure out for yourself, might end up being said. So, listening is HUGE.
Number 1.) Ears open, mouth shut.
Wait till the end, and don't miss a piece. They're giving you the information they want and that in itself is important. During their presentation, give your respect by keeping your questions and thoughts at hold unless it is aquired to speak. Once they have finished, you have the opportunity to ease yourself in to more information, and ask questions for better understanding of their story.
Number 2.) Take note of the important things.
As I pointed out in my introduction, everything said has a main idea, and the rest of the words are supporters. So, pretty much all the extra stuff really isn't too important. The main point is where your attention needs to be on, for it's the critical part.
Number 3.) Take notes.
I'm not expecting you to whip out a notepad and a pencil while someones talking to you and then to scribble down what they're saying. That's a bit much sometimes... Although, these pointers are for any time. Work, school, and even maybe personnel activities. So, if you need to remember something or need more time to review in order to find an understanding, then writing things down will be great.
Number 4.) Ask them to repeat themselves.
If you're having a problem with understanding, or hearing the one you're having a conversation with, then politely ask them to repeat themselves. I bet if you ask politely they will repeat and in a way that you're more capable of understanding, so probably slower. If they aren't going slower, then throw that into the sentence.
Number 5.) Ask questions.
If you ask some questions to what it is you are wondering then you might be capable of building a clear picture. I'm pretty sure this tip is one everyone does naturally.
Number 6.) Make the speaker feel heard.
You know how to look respectful, so do it. Back straight, good expressions, head nodding, and waiting till end of talking before making comments. So body language plays a huge part, and as long as you give them at least that then you will already be getting more from them as they will from you.
NUmber 7.) Save Time.
Emotions will really make a difference, and in a situation like this concentration is key. Get to the point of your story just as if you were experiencing it. Don't rush it, and avoid misunderstanding, for that will only make it worse.
Number 8.) No interrupting.
Absolutely no one likes when someone butts into their sentence. It throws off the whole scenario, and it's just annoying. It also interrupts the thinking. Also, it's just plain rude.
Number 9.) Confidence.
When delivering a speech, no one's really going to want to listen to someone talk uncomfortably, or messing on words. Smooth sailing all the way and that will make a huge difference. Your words will become more interesting and you won't be making the communication hard between you and your listener(s).
Number 10.) Delay your reaction.
Chances are, you are always showing emotions through small signs as simple as face expressions, nervous picking at items, and lack of eye contact (wandering eye). Try to keep attention where it needs to be, and that's on them. Once they give you time to express, and not just anytime, but a particular time, then it is all you to "calmly" respond.